Jessie Lee, author of Bazi Guide To Love: If The Shoe Fits.
IT takes two hands to clap. And in a marriage, it needs both parties to play their role to make the marriage work. The first year can be an exciting time, but it can also be a learning experience. Settling into marriage can be challenging.
"With continuous love, lots of understanding and communication, newlyweds will be able to adjust to married life," says Jessie Lee.
In her book, Lee details the truths and myths of Love 101, and distinguishes them both in the first book under the BaZilogy Series. The BaZi system of Chinese Astrology helps one gain a deeper and more profound understanding of potentials, weaknesses and how to go about achieving dreams, based on the date and time of birth and gender.
Lee says that the elements mentioned above are just three of the many ingredients required to make a marriage work, stressing that it is the responsibility of both the husband and wife to keep the relationship going strong.
"I have seen couples who decide to call off their marriage within their first year. There are couples who tie the knot without proper planning. They don't have full understanding of each other and when reality hits them after the honeymoon period, they don't know how to handle it," she says.
Also, people often portray a different image during courtship, says Lee a senior consultant of Joey Yap consulting Group. "They try to impress their partner. But once they are married, they slowly start showing their true characteristics."
As such, says Lee, it is very important for two people who are planning to get married, to understand each other's characteristics, strengths and weakness.
"Different people handles stress differently. They communicate at different levels and their tolerance level might not be the same. When they know this, it will be easier to handle a situation - when it arises." Issues like children, new responsibilities and involvement of external parties such as in-laws and friends are some of the problems newly married couples face.